Grief, grit, and getting back on the board: Sandi's second wave

👋 Hey, I'm Sandi

I am 53 years old. I live in northern NJ and have had a summer bungalow at the Jersey shore for most of my life. I work as an art teacher during the school year and enjoy my summer’s off at the jersey shore as I did growing up. I began my surfing journey in the Lavallette area of the Jersey shore in Ocean County.

🏖️ Summers at the shore

Growing up at the Jersey shore each summer, I tried many types of water sports, I wasn’t interested in tanning and attracting boys like other teens my age. I was pretty much in the ocean most of the day. When I was 15, my father happened to acquire a Hobie long board, I desperately wanted to try. I finally got the courage to take the long board out only to be discouraged by the teen boys we hung with; they yelled at me that I was ruining their waves and made it known I was not welcome to surf in that spot. With little self-esteem at the time, I listened to them. I got out of the water with the long board I could hardly carry up the beach. I never tried again. I always regretted listening to them and not learning to surf in my younger years.

🎂 The 50th birthday surf goal

As I got older, I still felt that regret. The summer I turned 49 I decided, by my 50th birthday, I wanted to learn how to surf. I was not going to let another summer go by without learning to surf, as a plus-sized individual, I knew I was in no shape to start immediately; however, my good friend Julie convinced me not to wait, so I took a few lessons before the summer ended. We were entering hurricane season and already the ocean was getting rough, but that was more fun for me. Because of my extra weight I had some trouble popping up, or even just getting up, but I was hooked, the experience fueled my determination to lose the extra weight I was carrying around, and to get in shape. I had 1 year to get myself ready to surf.

🎁 A surfing Christmas

That Christmas my husband, who supported all my crazy ideas, gave me 3 private lessons and took me long board shopping for a board of my own. I was slowly working on getting into better shape to learn to surf, as the school year was finishing up and summer was approaching, I could hardly wait. My husband was planning a trip for us to Costa Rica for my 50th Birthday with surf lessons of course. This summer was going to be great! Less than a week before the school year ended tragedy struck.

💔 Grief and loss

Life, including my surf plans, came to a screeching halt when my 55-year-old husband died suddenly of a massive heart attack. The 3 years that followed did not include much surfing. I was overwhelmed with life, I injured my back, put on some extra weight. Aside from a surf lesson I took in Kauai on vacation, I was moving further from my surfing goals which was really depressing.

🌊 Surf therapy to the rescue

To combat my depression, anxiety, and help deal with my grief, fate brought me to a surf therapy program with Dana Forest @swelltherapyllc. Over eight weeks this past summer, I got back in the ocean to learn to surf and participated in small group therapy sessions on the beach in Long Beach. This is exactly what I needed! Back in the ocean is where I belonged. Surfing provided an outlet for my pent-up emotions. It helped me process and move through my grief rather than staying stuck where I was. My weekly surf therapy session immediately boosted my mood and self-esteem. By the end of the summer, I was more determined than ever to claim back my life and continue my surf journey.

🧘‍♀️ Health, fitness & new focus

At the beginning of this school year, with my daughter having graduated from High School, it was time to start focusing on my health, wellbeing and goals. I started back at PT for my back issue in the fall and then progressed to joining a fitness program. I started training with Darius @gamechangergym in January. And I started eating smarter by implementing tips I learned from Tosha @theregaincoach, during her "back on track" challenges and some one-on-one coaching I did with her to get me started. I really needed the accountability and Tosha is a great coach, since she herself has successfully lost a bit of weight.

My workouts are tailor made for my surf and weight loss goals and with his help, I am currently much stronger and have lost 40lbs and counting. I recently added two days of swim training to my weekly fitness routine to build endurance. I've finally released the burden of physical and mental weight I’ve been carrying around for too long. I am counting down the days until summer, I look forward to becoming a part of the Jersey shore surf community, I hope to meet other female surfers, who learned to surf later in life and hear about their surf journeys as well.

🏄‍♀️ Looking ahead

Maybe this summer will be the summer I get my fiberglass longboard in the ocean, for now I’m still learning on my foamy. I look forward to doing some surf travel when I retire from teaching. I’m determined to get to Costa Rica, one day. In addition to teaching Art, I’ve dabbled in some photography work, including some underwater photography, so who knows, maybe I’ll even try some surf photography. For now, I wholeheartedly envision surfing being a fundamental part of the rest of my life. You can find me at @sandisummersurfer

P.S. As of July 2025, I am down almost 60 pounds, I am getting out in the water finally. I started progressing my surfing with Robbie @prosurf_coaches_official, I’m learning so much about surfing, timing, reading waves… I also found a great community of women board riders out of South End Surf and Paddle in Long Beach Island, NJ @surf_n_paddle. They are a great group of supportive women surfers, paddle and skateboarders, I hope to get out in the water with them again soon.