🏄‍♀️ Let’s surf together goes very wrong 😝

👋 Happy National Oatmeal Cookie & Raisins + Bubble Tea Day! Also—Honesty Day, which honestly fits perfectly with this week’s surfodrama—dating and surfing, and not having fun doing it either.

🏄‍♀️ Let’s surf:

• Let’s surf together goes wrong 😝

• Mad to surf the Severn Bore 🤪

• Let’s break some swell windows 🪟

• Pic of the week: Supergirl at Jaws 🌅

• A very big surf news roundup 📰

• Sunscreens. Stickers. Surf stuffs. 😎

^SURFODRAMA

😱 Let’s surf together goes very wrong 😝

Have you heard the one about “alpine divorce”?

Just in case you were lucky enough not to: alpine divorce is when a dude (usually a dude) leaves a girl (usually a girl) in a remote, dangerous, or difficult hiking situation to fend for herself.

Now imagine this, but surfing.

Two people go on vacation. Let's call them Jack and Jill. Jack: experienced surfer. Jill: non-surfer who wants to learn. Because surfing is something couples do together, n’est pas?

Picture this: Jack paddles out to the lineup, catches some waves, chills. Jill gets stuck in the whitewash, doesn't know how to get out, and gets worked. Same ocean, completely different experiences.

Cue the surfodrama. Jack sets the expectation: “Maybe in a week you'll be out in the lineup with me.” Jill rises to the challenge, signs up for lessons, and tries to deliver on the promise of surfing together. And fails. Because of course. It’s surfing.

💭 The surfing fantasy vs reality
There's a version of surfing that exists in people's heads. Slow rolling waves at golden hour. Two people paddling out together, catching a few, laughing, whoop whooping each other, maybe sharing a party wave. Fun.

Then there's actual surfing. Where lifelong surfers have no real memory of what it's like to be a beginner, and beginners can't fathom why the crusties are so nonchalant about something that feels impossible.

🧱 Beginner surfing is a brick wall
Beginner surfing is not a gentle ramp. Actually, it’s not a ramp at all. It’s a brick wall. For a long time it feels like no progress at all.

If it doesn't feel fun yet—that's normal. If it feels hard, frustrating, occasionally miserable—also normal.

So when someone says “let’s just have a chill surf together,” it's normal to hear “I should be able to do that by now, why can't I do it by now?”

What's not normal is expecting yourself to fast-forward onto someone else's timeline. Not in a week. Not on vacation. Not happening.

🍸 The actual solution that does not involve “dumping his ass”
The way out is simple, if not easy: either separate the surf and meet up after for cocktails and snuggles, or Jack meets Jill where she is and they both ride smaller waves. Hell, maybe he gives her a wee push.

What I hope doesn't happen:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Sucks to be Jill. Sucks to be Jack.

^{SURF SPOT SPOTLIGHT}

🤪 Mad to surf the Severn Bore

It may work more often than your local break—up to 130 days a year, twice a day—and you may get the ride of your life—40 minutes and counting. Yes, 40 minutes. But in our humble opinion, you’d have to be absolutely mad to surf the Severn Bore.

🌳 Duck, weave, survive
“Ducking under branches and riding through bushes”, “riding under the railway bridge”, “looking at the cows in the fields”—all while fighting off kayakers and the occasional “odd dead animal”.

This is what you can expect when surfing the Severn Bore, one of the most famous bore waves in the world.

🌍 What even is this wave
The Severn Bore is a British “surf” break created by an incoming tidal surge funneling up the River Severn (220 miles long), about 100 miles west of London.

The Severn Estuary empties into the Bristol Channel and has the third-largest tidal range in the world—about 49 feet.

Quoting the Encyclopedia of Surfing: “The bore rolls upriver one hour before high tide, twice a day, with the biggest and best waves—usually waist-high, but sometimes up to six feet—arriving just after the full and new moons around the spring equinox.”

Six feet? You nuts?!

🗡️ Enter Mad Jack
The break was first surfed in 1955 by John “Mad Jack” Churchill, a World War II vet renowned for carrying a Scottish broadsword into battle.

He learned to surf after the war and, in 1955 at age 49, rode the Bore on a surfboard he made himself. See: “Mad Jack”. And I’m really hoping he didn’t surf with his sword…

In 2006, Steve King from Gloucestershire set a world record for the longest surfing ride on the Bore—7.6 miles.

⚠️ Should you surf it? (no!)
These days anyone can surf the bore, but not everyone—actually, no one—probably should. At least that’s the message straight from www.thesevernbore.co.uk.

There you’ll learn that even experienced surfers can encounter life-threatening situations. The bore can become overcrowded very quickly. Kayakers are Satan’s spawn. It’s easy to get knocked off your board, tangled in your leash, and dragged into nearby bushes. Not fun.

Honestly, the sight of brown, muddy water should put anyone off, but apparently it doesn’t. Surfers, paddleboarders, and kayakers compete for the wave and, on rare occasions, peacefully co-exist.

Just not like in this video:

But hey, if this sounds like fun to you—on yer head.

^{SURF SCIENCE}

🪟 Let’s break some swell windows

Swell direction, we all know and love. It’s the direction waves are coming from. You’ll see it in your surf forecast—hover over the little arrow and boom: SSW, WNW, etc.

🪟 Wait… what is a swell window?!
The Encyclopedia of Surfing describes it (poetically) as “a set of coordinates between a wave-producing storm and a surf break that, when met, will produce the best surf at that particular break.”

Translation: a swell window is the range of swell directions that can deliver wave energy to your break—cleanly, in a straight line—without getting blocked by coastline, islands, or underwater features.

Not all breaks are created equal. Some, like Huntington Beach, work year-round because they have a wide, open swell window—meaning swell can arrive from many different angles. Others, like Maalaea, have a tiny swell window and might only work a few days a season.

⏰ Swell window ≠ swell period
You hear a swell window, and you might be thinking of a swell period. But these two are different.

Swell period (also called swell interval) is the time between two consecutive wave crests passing a fixed point—like a buoy or offshore platform (that’s where forecast data comes from).

As waves travel away from the storm that created them, their period increases. And generally speaking, the longer the swell period, the better the waves—although local wind conditions can absolutely ruin the party.

It’s kind of wild that surfers only started paying attention to swell period in the mid-80s (again, shoutout to the Encyclopedia of Surfing).

🤯 Periods' impact explained
If you see an 8–10 second period, it’s likely local wind swell or overlapping swells (you know—primary + secondary on Surfline). Translation: messy.

If you see a juicy 20-second period, that swell has traveled a long way—and you’re getting longer, more evenly spaced waves.

And one more thing: swell period affects surf height. Longer-period waves carry more energy.

10 ft swell @ 14 seconds → ~12 ft surf
10 ft swell @ 20 seconds → ~20 ft surf

Not exactly scientific, but directionally pretty real.

And if you’re still unsure about the difference between swell height and surf height—we got you.

Now, how big is your local break’s swell window?

^{THE WIPEOUT WEEKLY SURF NEWS ROUNDUP}

🗞️ Shark chase. Sharks at comps. Lakey wins. Steph last?! Wave pools rising. Legends remembered.

🦈 Shark chase, not a sighting
A foil surfer off Santa Barbara was chased by a shark that matched his speed and turns for minutes, turning a casual session into a full-on ocean sprint.

🦈 Sharks now attend competitions
A shark sighting paused the Vans Jack’s Surfboards Pro in Huntington Beach for 24 hours, proving even surf contests answer to the ocean.

🏆 Lakey Peterson is back back
Lakey Peterson won the Margaret River Pro with a last-minute score, jumping into a tie for first on the Championship Tour.

😬 Steph Gilmore…dead last?!
Stephanie Gilmore is currently at the bottom of the rankings after two losses, in a format that leaves little room to ease back in.

🌊 Florida builds its own waves
Florida’s first major surf park is underway, promising consistent, customizable waves in a state better known for waiting than riding.

🏛️ Surf history, now on display
A new museum in West Palm Beach is opening with over 100 boards and a century of surf history, spotlighting Florida’s surprisingly deep roots in the sport.

🕊️ Aloha spirit, embodied
Paul Strauch has passed away at 83, leaving behind a legacy that helped shape modern surfing and define what people mean by “Aloha spirit.”

🎙️ The king, speaking for himself
Duke Kahanamoku appears in a resurfaced 1966 interview, offering a rare, firsthand glimpse into the origins of modern surfing.

👉 Read the full news roundup

^{PIC OF THE WEEK}

🌅 Supergirl at Jaws

Wow! Just wow! I spotted this pic last week on Threads, and reached out to Brandon Kirk who took it to get permission to share it with you.

And I’m so glad that I did, because I got to hear the story behind it.

Maddie Anzivino known as @maddiesouthbay is the only girl lifeguard on the North Shore.

Last week, Maddie messaged Brandon: “I think I’ll be going to Jaws this weekend.” when the forecast unexpectedly shouted: good waves.

Good they were indeed, described as near perfect and uncrowded.

And the ride? This must’ve been absolute perfection for Maddie.

^{WEE SURF SHOPPE}

😎 Sunscreens. Stickers. Surf stuffs.

This is officially becoming our Wee Surf Shoppe always-on segment where we share fun and useful surf stuffs. And show off our merch.

Need a sunscreen? We have put together a shortlist based on the recommendations from our community.

👉 Check out sunscreens and/or get a sticker to support The Wipeout Weekly

^{ALL THINGS SURF DIRECTORY}

🌴 Don’t miss out on a surf retreat of a lifetime. Or a surf comp!

Ever wanted to be a contender? Now’s your chance if you happen to reside in Southern California or are willing to travel.

Ocean and Her is hosting an all-women surf comp in Manhattan Beach on May 9.

Need more time to plan? There’s a surf retreat for 40+ gals planned for late November in Lombok.

👉 Check out the directory for more surf stuffs

^{ALL THINGS THE WIPEOUT WEEKLY}

_{The Wipeout Weekly—our home and digital magazine.
The Wee Surf Shoppe—explore useful, cute, and sometimes simply outrageous surf “stuffs”.
The Wipeout Weekly podcast—daily surf stories and weekly* guests.
All Things Surf Directory—surf retreats, learn to surf, classifieds, surf-side lodging, you name it.
Girls Who Can’t Surf Good—an 86k-member-strong private group on Facebook.}
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⬆️ Aaaaaaand that was the last wave of the week!
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