🏄‍♀️ Peeing in wetsuits, kooksplaining & human sacrifice—oh my!

👋 Happy pre-weekend to you! Wherever you’re surfing, welcome to the second issue of The Wipeout Weekly, powered by Girls Who Can’t Surf Good!

🏄‍♀️ Let’s surf:

• To pee or not to pee

• There’s only one Waikiki

• Word of the week: Kooksplaining

• Girl-Who-Can’t-Surf-For-Her-Dear-Life

• Surfboard safari: The Olo

• Weekly popup ⚡🏄‍♀️🔥

^SURFODRAMA

😱 To pee or not to pee in your wetsuit

You’ve just emptied your bladder at the beach toilets. You run into the surf with a big smile on your face. Cold water hits your body.

Shock, horror—you enter what scientists called diuresis, and your body makes you want to pee so bad.

Good news first. According to the University of Florida your pee has no impact on sharks attacking you. And if you decide to pee, you’re in good company because 98% of surfers admit to having a tinkle while out surfing (and the rest probably lie anyway).

Yet, as we strive to be objective, here are just a few additional considerations before you commit to peeing in your wetsuit.

🚫 CONS OF PEEING IN YOUR WETSUIT
👃 Pee smells. Make sure you rinse your wetsuit in fresh water after a session.
☣️ Pee is corrosive. Your wetsuit may become stiffer and deteriorate.
🧪 Pee is full of bacteria. It can cause a diaper rush or even burn.
🎨 Pee can dye your light suit. Beetroot turns it pink, carrots orange and some medication - blue. (Personally - we’d love to see this!)
🤝 Friends don’t let friends pee in loaned wetsuits!

✅ PRO OF PEEING IN YOUR WETSUIT
🌊🌊🌊 You won’t miss any waves.

To help you get your priorities straight in this matter, consider this:

A single fin whale expels 1,000 liters (260 gallons) of urine a day—that’s four large bathtubs. You produce 1.5 liters or less than half a gallon a day = about two bottles of wine.

To pee or not to pee in a bikini or board shorts—that’s for another day.

^{SURF SPOT SPOTLIGHT}

Waikiki: the best beginner surf break in the world

Waikiki, Hawai’i is the best beginner surf break in the world.

You could argue that this is subjective. That there are better, less crowded, less expensive places to learn to surf. And sure, you wouldn’t be wrong.

But I’m telling you: Waikiki is the best beginner surf break in the world—because you’re not just getting waves. You’re getting surf, culture, and history.

Here, you’ll be surfing the same waves that Duke Kahanamoku—the father of modern surfing—rode himself. And that’s beyond cool.

Waikiki at a glance ⬇️ 

🌊 Waves: Gentle, rolling, long rides that are super forgiving—slow breaks mean less panic, more time to pop-up. Crowded AF—but manageable if you time it right.

🚰 Water quality: Generally clean, but surf near the Ala Wai Canal after rain at your own risk.

👙 Wardrobe: Bikini-forward—but we recommend a rash vest for sun protection, and you might feel slightly chilly first thing in the morning. Reef booties not necessary.

☀️ Best time to surf: Pretty much 365 days a year, with some minor exceptions—see below. Try May-September for the smallest, friendliest waves.

⚠️ Hazards: People. Lots of people. If you can get out of bed before the rental shops open, you will be ok. Box jellyfish swarms— check the Box Jellyfish Calendar (typically 8-10 days after a full moon)

🏄🏻‍♀️ Surfboard rental: Girls Who Can’t Surf Good recommend Moku—hands down.

🎉 What else to do (Aka, my personal itinerary for July. 😜)

• Hike Diamond Head for the views

• Visit the Bishop Museum, because it’s the coolest

• Get a Portuguese donut (malasada) at Leonard’s Bakery

• Buy springy hair ties at ABC stores

• Drink the original Mai Tai at The Royal Hawaiian.

• Catch a dawnie with the local Girls Who Can’t Surf Good.

🏄🏻‍♀️ Solo traveling: Absolutely. Waikiki is a popular tourist destination. Main streets are well lit, bustling with people. And the city is super walkable.

^SURFLINGO

Word of the week: Kooksplaining

Don’t even Google it. You’ll find—nothing. We came across “kooksplaining” on Reddit in a post titled “How to (not) be a jerk to female/new/whatever surfers.” It’s so deliciously accurate that we simply must share.

Kooksplaining means offering unsolicited advice to a surfer—when the person giving it has absolutely no business doing so.

Here are just a few examples of kooksplaining:

➡️ You’re on a shortboard. Some rando concerned about your lack of wave count, suggests you should try a bigger board.

➡️ You’re a local riding a foamie for fun. A surf tourist decides you need their tips on catching waves.

➡️ You’re a girl. Just chilling, waiting for your wave. Suddenly, a surf school instructor starts shouting: "Paddle! Paddle! Paddle!"

➡️ You’re a girl. Again. You put “surfing” on your dating profile. And every single guy’s opening line is an offer to teach you how to surf.

That’s kooksplaining for ya.

Apparently, in the rock climbing world, it’s called “beta-spraying.”

So hey—you’ve learned two new words this week! 🎓

You already know this, but only offer advice when asked—or to prevent an injury.

^{GIRL-WHO-CAN’T-SURF-GOOD-BUT-REALLY-WANTS-TO}

🏄‍♀️ I suck at pop-ups—that’s why Girls Who Can’t Surf Good (and The Wipeout Weekly) exist

I was so excited about getting the first edition of the newsletter out last week that I completely forgot to introduce myself.

Hi! I’m Zuz Wilson, and I run this joint. 😜

I’ve documented my surf story, but here are a few extra facts about me:

• I live in LA with two cats and a husband.

• I ride a 9’6” Fineline longboard and an 8’ Wavestorm.

• I’m obsessed with The Olo and Forgetting Sarah Marshall—and it shows.

• I got into acting and improv later in life. I’m desperately trying to be funny. Please forgive me for trying.

• One day, I’d love to produce a documentary on Girls Who Can’t Surf Good and how surfing changed our lives. Perfect opportunity to meet you all!

Read my story.

We’d love to share your surfing stories—good, bad, happy and sad. Whether they are a one paragraph-short anecdote, a 10-page long essay or just a fun pic of you surfing. 👉 Reply to this email to get it going or tag @therealgirlswhocantsurf for a collab.

^{SURFBOARD SAFARI}

Before the foamies: The Olo, naked surfing & human sacrifice 🏄‍♂️👀

There’s a boy I’m obsessed with. I mean—a board, a board I am obsessed with. A very large, very impractical board.

Meet the Olo—the 17-to-22-foot, 200-pound monster of a surfboard exclusively ridden by Hawaiian royalty. 👑 If you thought carrying your longboard was a pain, imagine hauling this actual tree trunk from your car to the water. And back. No carrying straps! 😅

But the Olo isn’t just a board—it’s a time capsule of ancient surfing. Before foamies and fiberglass, Hawaiians carved Olos from wiliwili wood and blessed them with sacred rituals. And in some cases, the “offering” for building these boards wasn’t just a fish—it was a human. ☠️

Nah, I’m kidding. Humans were offered for building canoes. (Needs must, I guess.)

The Olo has an incredible history—from being a status symbol to its revival by Tom Blake and Duke Kahanamoku centuries later. 🌊

📖 Read the deep dive here or 🎙️ listen to me wax lyrically about the Olo on our podcast.

^{WEEKLY POPUP}

I can improve my pop-up, I just don’t want to 😜 (on being stubborn)

Why is the pop-up so hard? Because for it to work, it has to be an automatic movement. Automatic—like sweating or peeing in your wetsuit. The moment you think about it, it’s game over, man.

The pop-up is deceptively hard because it’s a combo of strength, speed, balance, and timing—plus general ocean awareness. And you have to do it perfectly, in a split second.

Let’s start with strength. One of the main reasons we—beginners—struggle is because we lack the push-up strength to pop up explosively. So we hesitate. We fall back. We don’t pop up at all.

No one wants to hear this less than me, but Girls Who Can’t Surf Good agree: burpees (and push ups) for days. 🏋️‍♀️ This will build up our upper body strength, engage our core, and train our leg movement.

I guess I might as well start burpeeing today. 😭

^{THE WIPEOUT WEEKLY FOMO}

⬆️ Aaaaaaand that was the last wave of the week!
If a friend forwarded this and you liked it, hit subscribe & join us! We will see you all next week! 🌊

^HOUSEKEEPING

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