Should surfers date surfers—Melissa has thoughts

👋 Hey! I’m Melissa

And between you and me...I am 53 years young—and scientifically a mermaid. Just sayin’! I grew up near the ocean and always loved it. I’ve dabbled in surfing for many years, but it wasn’t until around six years ago—after the breakup of a completely confusing and messy “situationship” (ask me later—happy to share!)—that I bought my own board and started going out on solo missions.

I can honestly remember the feeling of standing up and gliding along my first little wave, with nature all around me and this unmatched sense of exhilaration and peace. And yep—now I’m addicted!

🌊 Favorite freaks & surf style

I live in Manly Beach, Sydney (Australia), but as many of you know, the beaches there can be super crowded. So my favourite spots are actually three hours north, around a beautiful place called Port Stephens. It’s a sanctuary, and I try to get up there as much as I can.

I’ll be honest—while I do have a steamer, and I had an epic session a few weeks back in Sydney, I’m very much a sunny summer surfer girl.

I admit I struggle in bigger surf—my board is a long softie—so this summer I’m committing to getting some proper lessons instead of depending on tips from well-meaning randoms in the surf. Haha!

💪 Confidence, wipeouts & comebacks

I’ve generally found the vibe super friendly (lucky, hey?) and that most people are supportive of seeing a woman out there enjoying and learning such a challenging sport.

Fun fact: I actually broke my finger a few years ago whacking it on my board during a cold session—but I went out the next day without even realizing!

This past summer, I noticed my strength had improved from doing a bit of weight training at the gym. It wasn’t even my motivation to lift weights, but it definitely helped.

My aim this season is to get more confident gliding across a wave and soaking in that tranquil feeling. Surfing gave me a place to heal from heartbreak, and that was so nourishing. These days, I surf for fun, play, and adventure.

💘 Surfing & relationships—can they mix?

I work in Sydney as a psychologist and I’m also a trained yoga teacher. I specialize in dating and relationship coaching. Zuz Wilson, the editor of The Wipeout Weekly asked me whether it’s hard for surfers to date non-surfers. I don’t think you need to date someone who surfs, but I definitely think it helps if they love the ocean. It gives you a shared passion.

My partner and I take turns filming each other—always a hilarious way to bond.

That said, I’ve been in relationships with surfers before—and it was terrible. Some were so obsessed with surfing they barely noticed they had a girlfriend. One guy literally took the passenger seat out of his car just so his board would fit—his girlfriend had to sit in the back… um, no.

Other guys though? They’ll take you out with them and be so stoked to help you learn. That can be super sweet.

Secret disclosure: I once gave Kelly Slater a rose at a comp when I was 22—after he signed my arm. Obsessed and wishful thinking, haha.

🧘‍♀️ Let’s connect

I’m passionate about supporting other women in this community with dating and romance. Please feel free to reach out if you’d like online support. My (recently reactivated) Instagram is @LoveandVibrantPsychology—DM me there or message me here in the chat.

This community—Girls Who Can't Surf Good— is awesome, and so is its Mumma Bear Zuzanna. Super stoked to be a member and hope to connect with more women going forward. Keep up the inspirational vibes, girls—you’re all legendary! 💖